Here are some signs that show up that tell us when a younger part is still carrying a wound:
- Fear of being abandoned
- Fear of being left or forgotten
- Difficulty forming healthy relationships
- Difficulty setting healthy boundaries
- Turns externally to others for approval or validation
- Struggles with low self-esteem
- Represses emotions
Remember, any form of intensity means we are tapping into the emotions and sensations of a younger part. We can bring in our grounded adult part(s) who have “self-energy” to comfort these younger parts.
“Self-energy” is an IFS (Internal Family Systems) term that means we are in our adult self, from a place of curiosity, compassion, calmness, clarity, confidence, courage, creativity, and connectedness (also known as the 8C’s).
When in “self-energy,” we can make space for our parts but not be overwhelmed or blended with them. We can take a step back, acknowledge the parts of us communicating an old wound, and hold space for them. “Self-energy” allows us to slow down, take a breath, and notice what is showing up.
Healing is possible.