Reframing Intensity: “If There’s Intensity… a Part Is Trying to Tell Us Something”
Core Message: Intensity is not bad behavior. It’s a signal.
When things feel extreme inside — emotionally, physically, or mentally — that almost always means:
👉🏽 A part is present.
👉🏽 That part may not know how to use words.
👉🏽 They may not be allowed to speak.
👉🏽 They may not even know they’re allowed to want something.
So instead, they show us through intensity.
What Intensity Might Look Like:
- A sudden change in body temperature (cold/hot/shaking)
- A wave of dread, shame, or rage with no “obvious reason”
- Panic that feels like it came out of nowhere
- A pressure in the head or chest
- Crying but not knowing why
- Sudden shutdown or dissociation after trying to talk
- Racing thoughts or obsessive loops
- The body doing something you don’t “mean” to do (grabbing, self-injury, hiding)
Instead of thinking… 👉🏽Try thinking…
“I’m losing it.” 👉🏽“A part is sending a message.”
“I don’t know why I feel this way.” 👉🏽“Someone inside might be feeling this, not just me.”
“This intensity makes no sense.”👉🏽 “Maybe the story hasn’t been shared yet.”
“I need to shut this down.” 👉🏽“I wonder who needs support and doesn’t know how to ask.”
Gentle Response Phrases:
These can be spoken aloud or internally. The key is to avoid demanding, fixing, or rushing.
- “Someone inside, I feel you. You don’t have to use words yet.”
- “I’m not mad at you for being intense.”
- “You’re allowed to feel this way. If it’s too much, we can pause together.”
- “You don’t have to come forward. I just want you to know I noticed.”
Normalize that just noticing intensity as a signal is enough.
There’s no need to follow it, fix it, or identify the part — unless the system gives permission.
