Let’s address and speak some truth on the messages that get internalized on a child who is sexually abused.
• A child who is sexually abused learns that the purpose of their sexuality is the gratification of the other person.
•Learns that the way to win approval is with the body.
•Learns that sex has nothing to do with trust or equality.
•Learns that sex and love/affection are confusing.
•Intimacy is distorted. Feeling detachment is common. Intimacy can be very scary.
•Crying after orgasm: can develop after having intimacy with a partner.
•Seductiveness becomes a survival mechanism: a way to win approval, gain power, express anger, etc.
•Guilt around having flashbacks/fantasies with arousal.
•Avoidance/Loss of interest: helps the survivor be less aware of the sexual abuse.
YOU CAN HEAL FROM THESE MESSAGES!
Here are some ways:
•Becoming aware of how your protective mechanisms (i.e. dissociation) helped you survive and thanking these parts of you for carrying this burden for so long.
•Listening to what needs need to be met. i.e. Learning to say no, maintaining healthy boundaries.
• Reparenting the parts who have had to carry these messages for so long.
•Learning to work with triggers.
