What is an Internal Calm Space?
An Internal Calm Space is a place in your inner world that you and your parts can imagine, build, and return to when things feel overwhelming. It’s not a memory, and it doesn’t have to look like anywhere you’ve been before. Think of it as a sanctuary, created by you, for you and your parts. It could be a beach, a cozy cabin, a garden, a park, a library, or even something magical. The important part is that it feels peaceful, calm, and supportive.
Why is it Important?
- Encourages Co-Consciousness & Collaboration: When parts know there’s a calm place to meet or retreat to, it can open the door for more communication and trust between them. Instead of some parts feeling pushed aside or hidden, they have a space to come together, even if gently at first.
- Helps with Emotional Regulation: Having a calm place inside gives you and your parts a way to ground, and soothe yourselves when life (or therapy) feels too much.
- Supports Memory Work: As you begin to approach trauma memories, it’s natural for things to feel intense. An internal calm space provides a grounding resource, both for you and for the parts holding those memories. It gives them somewhere to go if they don’t feel ready, and it gives you somewhere to come back to after doing memory work.
- Builds Trust and Stability: Creating and using this space can show your system that you are invested in everyone’s safety and well-being. That sense of care is the foundation for deeper healing.
How to Begin
1. Imagine the Space
Start by closing your eyes (if that feels comfortable) and picture a place where you would feel completely peaceful. This doesn’t have to be a real location you’ve been to- it can be completely imagined or even magical. It might be a forest, a cozy cabin, a sunny meadow, a library, or a place surrounded by light.
- Don’t worry about getting it “perfect.” The space can evolve over time.
- If imagining is difficult, try starting with just one comforting detail (like a chair, a blanket, or a sound) and slowly build from there.
2. Involve Your Parts
This calm space belongs to your whole system, so it can be helpful to invite your parts to contribute.
- You might ask inside: “What would help you feel more comfortable here?”
- One part might want a hammock, another might prefer a lookout tower, another might want music or soft lighting.
- Not all parts need to visit or use the space, but giving them a chance to add something helps build trust and collaboration.
3. Set Boundaries
Safety means different things for different parts, so think about what would help everyone feel protected.
- Physical Boundaries (in your imagination):
You might picture your safe space surrounded by strong walls, a bubble of light, a locked gate, or even a forcefield. These can keep out anything that feels unsafe or overwhelming. For some, imagining water, fire, or thick fog around the edges of the space creates a natural boundary that only safe people or parts can cross. - Guardian Figures:
Some people imagine a trusted figure to guard the space. This might be an animal (like a lion, dog, or bird), a wise guide, or even a glowing presence that stands watch. The role of this guardian is to protect you and your parts, so everyone knows they can rest without worry. - Rules for the Space:
Sometimes safety is felt through clear guidelines. You can make “rules” for your space, such as: Everyone is welcome to rest, but no one is forced to join.
4. Practice Going There
The more you use your safe space, the more real and reliable it will feel.
- Try spending a few minutes each day picturing yourself there.
- Notice how your body feels as you enter the space-are your shoulders relaxing, your breathing slowing?
- Over time, it will become easier to go there quickly, almost like muscle memory.
5. Use It in Therapy
Your safe space can be a powerful tool during therapy.
- If a session feels overwhelming, you can pause, step into your safe space, and let yourself settle before continuing.
- Parts who aren’t ready to listen to memory work or difficult conversations can rest in the safe space while other parts take part in therapy.
- This gives your system a sense of choice and safety, which helps build trust and stability for deeper healing.
