A child who did not get their needs acknowledged may grow up and have difficulty in identifying their needs as adults.
Here are some ways this can present itself in adulthood:
• Being chronically flexible or adaptable: “Oh I don’t care what we do, you pick” or “I’m super easy going and am fine what whatever you decide.”
• Feeling ashamed when someone tries to meet your need: “I shouldn’t have asked” or “why did I say anything, that was a dumb idea.”
•Not being able to make a decision.
The first step in healing is acknowledging that asking for what you need is challenging.
Once you acknowledge it, you can be mindful of when this struggle shows up in your life. This awareness could bring more agency in doing something different. Perhaps you start practicing asking yourself what you want and need.
Be gentle with yourself.
You may have never been given permission to look at what you need. It is time to take up space!
Healing is possible