When you’ve experienced trauma—especially complex trauma—your system learns to be on alert for safety. This is a deeply wise survival skill, but it can also make it hard to know what will feel comforting or grounding in the present. One of the most important things you can do is to listen to your system: notice what feels right for you.
At Pasadena Trauma Therapy, we know that healing from complex trauma and dissociation is not one-size-fits-all. Your internal system, your whole self and all your parts, have a deep, innate wisdom about what feels safe and what doesn’t.
When you begin exploring self-soothing techniques, remember: it’s okay if not everything fits. Different parts of you may respond to different strategies. The goal is not to force a tool to work, but to listen and follow what feels genuinely comforting.
Here are some gentle, trauma-informed self-soothing strategies you can try when you’re feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or in need of grounding.
Below are some gentle ideas you can try, adjusting them to meet the needs of your whole internal system.
1. Express Yourself Through Art
Coloring, painting, or making any kind of art can help calm the mind, provide a nonverbal outlet for feelings, and create space for parts to express themselves in a safe way. You don’t need to be “good” at art- it’s about expression, not perfection.
2. Offer Yourself Internal Hugs
Imagine wrapping your arms around yourself, whether in your mind or physically, and giving yourself warmth and reassurance. This can be especially comforting for younger parts who may not have received the nurturing they needed in the past.
3. Find Comfort in Stuffed Animals
Stuffed animals can provide a tactile sense of safety, warmth, and companionship. They may also connect you with a sense of play or innocence that feels restorative for some parts.
4. Use Gentle, Soothing Motions
Rocking, swaying, or receiving comforting touch can bring the nervous system into a calmer state. This rhythm mimics early life soothing and can help parts feel more secure in the present.
5. Explore Play and Curiosity
Some parts may feel drawn toward activities that spark curiosity or fun, such as doing puzzles, playing games, or building with blocks. This can be a bridge to joy and connection.
6. Experiment With Temperature for Grounding
Shifts in temperature can be regulating for the nervous system. You might try holding an ice pack, taking a warm bath, or wrapping up in a cozy blanket, whatever feels good in the moment.
7. Use Comforting Visual Content
Watching cartoons, gentle shows, or videos of animals can bring relief, especially for parts who feel overwhelmed by the intensity of everyday life. Visual comfort can help shift your state in a soft, nonintrusive way.
8. Create a Comfort Bag
Gather a small collection of items that soothe your senses, such as a smooth stone to touch, a favorite scent, or a calming image. Each part may want something different, so the bag can hold a variety of sensory options.
9. Remind Yourself of the Present
When the past feels too close, try orienting to the here and now. You can do this by saying the date out loud, naming where you are, and stating your current age. This helps parts recognize that the danger has passed and you are safe in this moment.
A gentle reminder:
Healing is not about doing all the things at once,it’s about finding what feels right, moment by moment. Trust your system’s wisdom. It knows what’s safe, what’s helpful, and what’s not.
If you are navigating complex PTSD, dissociation, or parts work and would like personalized support, our team at Pasadena Trauma Therapy specializes in trauma healing for survivors of childhood trauma, sexual abuse, and dissociative disorders.
